03 September 2015

Energy

Source


They drone, the metronome
and air conditioner—
endlessly moan as if
in pain, again insane.

We remain near for fear
of melting into nothing
under the sun's unkind
glare out in the fresh air.

I, too, can go on and
on, clicking keyboard keys,
flicking flickering lights
and shouting out insights.

Groan. Into the cauldron
of boredom we go, no
longer thinking of cool
pools of remote water.

Sinking into sticky
vinyl chairs, with thrown
pillows surrounding us,
we sound out our nothing.



Trying Hedgewitch's Finding the Right Tone at Imaginary Gardens.  
(Playing with N's, contrasting sounds and assonance)


Copyright © 2015  S.L.Chast



13 comments:

Other Mary said...

Oh, you have captured the feel of this miserable end-of-summer weather and its malaise perfectly.

hedgewitch said...

This is very tonal in feel, indeed Susan--and not only visually, but musically. The sounds are repetitive yet not rote, and enforce the sense of lethargy,laced with a frazzle of desperation that comes when one submits against one's will to an irresistible force, or the suck of an inner abyss. The general becomes the particular as the metaphor ticks, and the layers accumulate to create a picture of unease and void. Excellent approach to the prompt, and a very cohesive and complete poem. Thanks so much for participating!

Gail said...

You've been spying on me! Teasing.

Hopefully the heat will break soon.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Smiles. I love the "Groan."! This poem would fit Sumana's midweek prompt too..."Into the cauldron of boredom we go." My DREAM is for enough free time to get bored, LOL..........never happens. Loved this response to the prompt, and the tonality of the word-sounds you created.

debispoems said...

You made me feel the sticky, weighty, oppressive heat... oh, humidity, you are a beast.

Gillena Cox said...

"We remain near for fear
of melting into nothing
under the sun's unkind
glare out in the fresh air."

really nice

much love...

thotpurge said...

Sound out our nothing... that's really how it feels at times... most times!

blueoran said...

I like the aural wash here, like taking a bath in rhyme and assonance. The water's warm but the bath is abstracted from itself, prevented by our need for it to be something more. Or something. What did Eno say, energy fools the magician?

madhumakhi said...

Oh my! Your poem is so onomatopoeic and, yes, tonal. Iove the rhythm running through it. Being an Indian I know what a hot summer feels like. You've captured the irritability and boredom you feel when heat confines you to your home so well. I loved this phrase 'Into the cauldron of boredom'.

Hannah said...

The movement in this and the change in actual volume is intriguing. Great work, Susan.

grapeling said...

descent into vinyl... yeowtch. effective and a bit scary... ~

Susie Clevenger said...

I agree with grapeling...a descent into vinyl...Those "sticky" days can come any time of year.

Kerry O'Connor said...

I like the way you went with tonal variations of sound rather than imagery. Very well done.