Birds rarely collide
inside my fantasy realm
but dance together freely
leaving hetero-only air—
leaving hetero-only air—
their neat artsy ballroom
looming in breezes swirling
twirling feathers. And in trial
while figure skating, who can tell
well the gender of penguins
while figure skating, who can tell
well the gender of penguins
in happy tap-a-tap
flap and slide off ice,
spice flying in our eyes?
Posted for my "Sunday Mini-Challenge" at Imaginary Gardens with Real Toads. The challenge is to use the last line from one of your own poems as the first line of a new one. Here is the required link to the first poem: "Telephone Lines Haiku," but it is also here (not required):
chore-o-graphy
dance writing rhythm for rooks,
crows, doves and sparrows
safety in numbers
with sequential memories
birds rarely collide
watching the birds dance is rather beautiful...we had 1000s of starlings at my parents house a month back and i just watched them swirling in the air...it was pretty amazing...penguins was an interesting turn in this...of course it made me think of happy feet, which is i dont watch for another 5 years will make me happy...ha...i can only take it a couple hundred times...the men keep the egg right...that is how you tell
ReplyDeleteNice completion of your prompt, Susan. I can definitely hear the rhythm of the dancing birds within this poem. And, yes indeed, there are some birds for whom one can easily determine gender; but penguins are not one of those breeds.
ReplyDeleteSusan, I love your challenge, which is so unusual and intriguing. Loved the haiku and the expanded poem from its last line as well. I so love birds.....especially seabirds who wheel and soar together as a flock - no idea how they manage to do those turns in unison all together.
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot going on here that I like, Susan. I notice the chain rhyme, and the lovely dancing rhythm. Thank you for bringing a new challenge to Real Toads.
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that your original form did not influence your response form. You show us two vastly different applications of the same line, revealing the magic of perspective and creation.
ReplyDeleteOh, wonderful, Susan. So different from your example, too. Aren't birds amazing?
ReplyDeleteK
I haven't seen birds dancing nor penguins doing a happy tap-a-tap- but in my fantasy too ~
ReplyDeleteI like this challenge Susan and thanks for sharing your inspirations ~
I love the way the rhythm goes with the flapping of wings, it gave me such intense imagery, wonderful
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this dance, Susan. I could see it!
ReplyDeleteAgain, great idea and great poems! That last line of your new poem could spawn another poem of its own-I love it!
ReplyDeleteyikes, i try to avoid hetero-only air and spaces.
ReplyDeleteA lot of tap tap tapping fun. k.
ReplyDeleteAt times when my spirit needs a break and my eye catches a bird...ah, I feel so breezy!Loving it..especially the tap-tapping of the penguin, within the soul is mind blowing! Great imagery, Susan.
ReplyDeleteThanks:)
I love the playfulness in your poem :D
ReplyDeletefun to read n' imagine...
I LOVE this, Susan!! And in light of our last dance, SO true!! No collisions. Well done and a splendid prompt, too...thank you!
ReplyDeletei've never thought about it before, but birds don't collide with each other very often, do they? love both your poems, Susan! and thanks for the interesting prompt!
ReplyDelete♥
I can see this beautiful, soaring dance. Lovely to read.
ReplyDeleteSusan, I commented on this poem earlier...but I comment again: It is always good to see the dance of penguins. I can never recognize who is male or female in the dance.
ReplyDeleteI love both of them, Susan. Birds in a poem gets me every time!
ReplyDeleteI love penguins and the dance of figure skating captures them beautifully, well done
ReplyDeletewonderful!! enjoying the birds in flight,,pure happiness..extended to tapping of the penguins' feet. Man or woman, does not matter, def. not in times of happiness!
ReplyDeleteA terrific read for this lover of the avian. Regarding gender... who can tell and what does it matter, right?
ReplyDelete