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| Miracle 2015 |
Post euthanasia the vet walked me out
to ask “Should we put
you on the new Kitty
list? We get so many litters in spring.”
Startled by the image of my ancient
kitty as a kitten, I stammered “No,
I need more time.”
Later, I did the math.
It’s possible, I concluded.
Twenty
years from now, I’ll only be eighty four
and I could partner another after that.
I plan to live until one hundred when,
I hope, someone will do for me what I
did for my so ancient kitty at last.
Got to make a Living Will while I can—
got to make a million copies so none
can trouble the decision with their guilt:
When I can't move myself or change or eat
be merciful and let me go easy
like a loving and loved ancient kitty.
Copyright © 2015 S.L.Chast
Oh poor sweet kitty, gentled into her final sleep. Bravely done, Susan. I know how hard it is. I do the same thing when contemplating a puppy - wondering if I would live long enough, so that it wouldnt outlive me and be left heartbroken. My dad died at 60, my mom at 74, the odds arent great. But yes, get a kitty, once you can bear to, once you have settled your soul in the absence of her presence, which was with you for so many years. I know how sad and lonely you must be tonight. I am thinking of you. Miracle kitty got her miracle, her death was gentle, she was sweetly held in loving arms, she did not suffer. You did well.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss and it is a profound loss. They give us so much !
ReplyDeleteIt is a difficult thing. I'm sure Kitty told you it was time to let her go.
ReplyDeleteHere is a tale of guardian angels and loving pets that came to the rescue for Andrew years ago. I hope it helps to know, Kitty will be there.
http://gailatthefarm.blogspot.com/2009/01/true-tale.html
Lots of love, Susan. I know how it feels. My most beloved cat, Herman, only lived to be 12. The vet and I did everything possible, even sent a blood sample to The Big City to see if he had an illness or a brain tumor. Unfortunately, it was the brain tumor, so I had to let him go. He was an extraordinary cat who used to visit any neighbors who had puppies or kittens or babies, and he'd let the little ones crawl all over him. It's been 15 years and I still miss him.
ReplyDeleteHugs, K
This is beautiful, and true, and the line where the speaker is "Startled" by the vet's question nearly did me in. I would have needed more time, too. To get used to my ancient friend being gone, to create a new space next to the not so empty space she left...
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure who said this to me (a family member, I think, when we watched an uncle whither, but his wife would not let him go); the person said, "Why can she just love him as much as most people love their dog or cat." Your words make those past words so powerful. This also brings to mine the last years of Sir Terry Pratchett.