Thinking ahead

 

When will it be my turn to die?  Mom told me that
I always wanted to be first, would rush to get
as close to the front of a line as possible, would lean
far out of line to see how far back she and you
brothers were.  But dad and mom were first to die,
and I expect to be up next.  I’m not worried.
 
I expect to see more beautiful landscapes than I
was able to in life.  I expect to visit each of you
in sweet moments and funny ones, each of you
a landscape, too, among the ones I rarely see.
I will sit weightlessly on your shoulders to feel
the world as you do, without a comment, soundlessly.
 
Will you notice I’m not talking?  I hope it makes you laugh!
I’m rubbing your neck and shoulders, a small gift that I
didn’t offer when alive.  I will drink you in
with all your work and play, hoping that when I touch
the shoulders of your girls and boys, I’ll get a sense
of what I missed when they grew up not knowing me.
 
If you feel a happy tear fall, don’t frown.  Smile!
I’m proud of you already.  This hello/goodbye
will leave us richer, with my blessing like a good
ice cream cone in the flavor of your choice—or a
bag of chips. With your blessing a smile in my heart,  

I’m looking forward to what comes next.

 

My blog poems are rough drafts.

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© 2025 Susan L. Chast