13 April 2012

Most Fateful Day



A hiss echoed from its spiked tongue and you thought
That the snake had not lied to you in word and in thought? 

Watch it slide away and take the apple along too
Neither giving it to you nor to God as we thought

Your tell-tale teeth marks are in it too, along with my own!
Seeing our DNA together, the snake will guess that you thought

We’d be together in Eden or in jail andno matter how much
We pay for ithappiness follows the ability to have thought.

But doubt is quite difficult and I liked it much better
When fate was determined and we need not have thought

About all of the options, the leaves of the trees, whether
To beat you or to love you.  I wish I had thought

This before, dear Lady, I opened my mouth to your pleases
And caresses and most seductive scatterings of thought. 






Created by using a last line from an older poem and then applying the Ghazal form.  Featured on One Night Stanza's "Read this Nowon Tuesday, September 18th, 2012.


Copyright © 2012 S.L.Chast


18 comments:

Adriene said...

Wonderful, Susan. This has a beautiful flow! I like your idea of beginning where you left off; also your change in perspective in each one. Very creative!

Susan said...

Thank you!

Jessica M said...

Beautiful poem. Thoughts, illusions that can keep us from peace...artificial barriers blocking us from the Divine. Darn that Adam and Eve! ;)

~blessings

Susan said...

lol! Thanks.

Mary said...

The snake and the apple and Eden...so much, it seems, is determined by fate. Strong writing, Susan.

Brian Miller said...

no matter how much
We pay for it—happiness follows the ability to have thought

true...but so does pain...because we have the right to choose
and no one else to blame for our decisions...

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Cool idea to start one poem with where another left off......hmmmm....am contemplating the possibilities!

Nataša Dolenc said...

the last line is really strong, i like how you can sum up a feeling of the poem in it.

Kerry O'Connor said...

I adore the ghazal form and you have written a beauty here, Susan. I am thrilled to get the chance to read it today. I was especially struck by the central strophe - it's pivotal message, and sheer cleverness leave a lasting impression.

Claudia said...

oh the temptations along the way - they come in many shapes - and often unexpected... and needs quite a bit of strength to turn away... ugh

Björn said...

Ah.. I have always wondered why the snake didn't take it all for himself. Our life's road is not always easy...

Sumana Roy said...

I like the images used here specially spiked tongue and tell tale teeth marks....and the ancient tale and the new perspectives...

R.K. Garon said...

Very nice.
Where would we be without temptation? ...and who is responsible? Has always been an interesting theme.
ZQ

TALON said...

So beautifully fashioned, Susan. Layered and textured. We are--though we tend to forget--all connected.

Gabriella said...

Interesting perspective on the Bible original. I think quite a few people would agree with Adam and also think that "doubt is quite difficult and I liked it much better / When fate was determined and we need not have thought". It is always easier to blame others.

kaykuala said...

Beautiful ghazal Susan. What happened was a momentous moment for mankind. It allowed for openings in human ingenuity without limits!

Hank

humbird said...

I'm still not sure...what was first..thought or scream of happiness...~ the poem with perspective....I like it

Kim Nelson said...

Those last two lines perfectly recap the piece's emotional tenor.