24 February 2013

After Stravinsky

(This poetic outburst is followed closely by a more sedate revision.  Enjoy them both!)

Rite of Spring", The Philadelphia Orchestra with Ridge Theater. February 21, 2012. <br />PHOTO: The Philadelphia Orchestra


To follow you love,
to begin the rites of spring
to awaken rainbows
of buds grown in the womb
of winter under blankets
of snow, earth, bark and root
riotously multiplying and dividing,
survival of the fittest,
hiding the effort, and
preserving the magic

Dance to love our enemy,
easier in the soft beds of gentry
where food is plentiful as manure,
easiest in community gardens
where one hand lifts up another,
best where no handouts soften the way
but crocus breaks concrete

Daffodil gold at the beginnings
of rainbows, dandelion gold and buttercups,
persistent in centers of daisies and forget-me-nots,
sodden edges of oil drenched seed pods and
the unawake able death sleep of the stifled too weak

To survive
To follow you love,
to begin the rites of northern spring
while southern winter sets in
to begin the chemistry
of resurrection


Revision: A Sonnet
Spring after Stravinsky


Awaken buds in ice wombs wintering
under snow blankets, earth and bark—
let them riotously multiply and
divide, survive if fittest, hide effort
and preserve the ritual magic dance

Dance in soft beds of gentry where food is
plentiful as manure, in hard beds of
community where one hand lifts to help
another, and in the concrete beds where
no handouts break ground like the crocus gold.

Gold as daffodils at the beginning
of rainbows, as dandelion and butter-
centers of daisies and forget-me-nots,
sodden edges of oil drenched seed pods and
un-wake-able death sleep of the too weak

Weakly  stretch and survive to follow you
in Rites of Spring, begin Resurrection





Posted for Open Link Night ~ 85 at dVerse Poets Pub.



Copyright © 2013 S.L.Chast



11 comments:

Brian Miller said...

where food is as plentiful as manure...haha...i like...and the love as well in your opening...and even that of the enemy...the hardest bit of love...i keep working on that one...smiles. bring on spring...and the resurrection...

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Two intriguing poems, and the photos are interesting as well. I'm not sure which poem seems best. I loved them both. Perhaps the original, slightly more.....

Grace said...

I like the offerings but for me the first one just swings and dances about with joy of northern spring ~ I specially like the part of the flowers, and your ending reminds me of the nature's cycle ~

Ursa Bowers said...

It was interesting seeing the choices you made during revision. The second is much tighter, pulling focus in on the images and lines that were strongest in the original. I liked them both, but preferred the precision of the revision to the loose, unspooling quality of the original.

manicddaily said...

I felt like the second one was tighter, but both very interesting. Rhythms of Stravinsky closer to me in second. k.

rumoursofrhyme said...

It was interesting to be able to read both together - to see the choices you made and rto ponder over why you made them. It was also brave of you to let us have this insight into your process.

As others have said, each poem has its strengths. For me, there is more energy in the first, more refinement and focus in the second. As to which is better - I think that's probably more a matter of personal taste than it is about any inherent strengths or weaknesses in your poems.

Laurie Kolp said...

Thanks for posting both of them... it's interesting to compare them. You sure polished it up... great line-breaks in the second, which is the one I prefer.

Semaphore said...

It is indeed interesting to be able to compare the two compositions. I would hazard to say that Stravinsky would have approved highly of the first version, with its bombastic passages and symphonic flourishes, much like his own musical extravagances.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Both are lovely, but I too prefer the second - so assured and accomplished!

lucychili said...

second, although i like the idea of crocuses cracking concrete

Claudia said...

crocus breaks concrete...
Daffodil gold at the beginnings
of rainbows, dandelion gold and buttercups....nice...can't wait for spring...the first sounds much like Stravinsky...lots of energy and music...