View from the Artist's Studio (Jacob Alt, 1836)
Within the excitement of being on your feet
again, is the stress of not finding things where you
left them. Caregivers moved cereal to an out-
of-reach shelf, and shelved heavy dishes among the light
ones you use when you are alone. They disturbed pots,
pans, tableware, dish towels, and medications.
Even where and how clothes hang or fold into drawers
is different. Plans to cook or paint or write are
delayed by the finding game. You swear never to
submit to extra care again, but know that as
you age you will have to accede graciously more
than once. Further, the legally-blind argument
to “Let me stay where I know where everything is”
is increasingly untrue. You don’t know where your
things are. What is yours, when all is touched, misplaced,
and wrong? Intruders have disturbed your sanctuary.
Nothing will be the same again. This confusion,
however, is better than the alternative—
going into an elder care facility, you think.
But is it? When would be the right time to
free yourself from things—all except those needed by
you, a working artist? You set up your easel
in the sunniest room. You put tubes of paint in
nearby drawers, and you lean unfinished paintings
against the wall where they await your return.
What if you could concentrate on those instead of
the hundred and one chores of daily home-work
like cleaning, cooking, and dressing? What if you were
free? Free from possessions and free from anger, too?
What if nothing mattered but the next vision you
captured, next card you created, and next student
you taught? What if you lost so much during absence
that your dignity didn’t need it anymore?
All you need is the tools of your trade and the space
to use them: freedom to spend time alone again.
Written 7/4/2023
My blog poems are rough drafts.
Please respect my copyright.
© 2023 Susan L. Chast
This is so relevant, especially here as senior care and senior living are just beginning to get into focus - affordable spaces for older people where they are free to be alone and do what they want and can and yet have the basics attended to - you tick all the boxes.
ReplyDeleteThey did nothing of what you list. I've checked every week and corrected the few times needed. The medications are kept on the table as before. And given on a more dependable schedule, logged. The clothes drawers as mom told Tricia to do. When she sat there watching the girl. The 'finding' game is primarily due to her eyes and long ago memory.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise I like the last paragraph. Your questions are true but the perceived affronts are at the forefront of her thoughts.