When we turn from anger we turn from insight,
saying we will accept only the designs already
known, deadly and safely familiar. I have tried
to learn my anger’s usefulness to me, as
How strange to feel relaxation in jaw
and cheek muscles, now in my seventies,
after decades of determination
locked lips and teeth in a competitive
“I-can-do-this”-and-“I’ll-show-you-I-can-
do-this” kind of anger that focused me
as it locked my shoulders and made breathing
difficult, broke breathing into short gasps
that only nearly filled the lungs. “Anger
got me through,” I said. Adrenaline fed
my muscles all those stress-filled years as a
warrior fighting a system meant to keep
me in the lower class from which I came.
Or so I thought, or so I was told and
believed. But I wonder. I wonder as I
work to relax what I bound up, to let
go of what I held, to love into life
the half lung that I abused as much with
anger as with pollution. Was it real,
the need to fight? Was it necessary?
For my prompt "Anger" at What's Going On?
Great questions, Susan. I think those of us who have a strong sense of the need for social justice have had to be vocal about it. But, now I am old and exhausted, I also allow myself to relax, rest and allow those with energy to take up the battle for me, supporting them with poems, hope and trust. And VOTES!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to read this.
ReplyDeleteSo much to think about... I wonder about loving something into life, about living life and wondering if the anger was necessary, the battle worth the losses... I think I am the sum of my scars but I must love myself better...into life... your poem has awakened my morning, Susan..thank you!
ReplyDeleteI believe when we work wholeheartedly for a cause it has its rewards. And when we have had our say we must call it a day. We are rich in our learning experience. I love everything about this poem, Susan from the title to the quote and especially these precious words :
ReplyDelete'I wonder as I
work to relax what I bound up, to let
go of what I held, to love into life.....'
I love the wisdom and reflection in this poem - makes me feel that the journey is worth taking for the peace in the ending - Jae
ReplyDeleteI have seen angry people, but I can’t remember being angry – perhaps when I was younger, but not for a long time. I love the opening lines of your poem, Susan, the relaxation after ‘decades of determination’ – great use of alliteration, it could be a slogan. The questions make sense to me.
ReplyDeleteTerrific poem ! I am happy I always write before I read.. because you and I were on a very similar track. I love your imagery and your final question.
ReplyDelete