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Night offered itself to me, and I embraced it,
it wasn’t dark like the corners of an unlighted room,
but glowed with moving clouds
and hundreds of distant lights.
An apple tree, white pine, dogwood, cedar, and sumac
colored the day and called to me, and I embraced them.
I feel the bark still, when I see them
through the window of a moving car.
How much of my life did I choose? how much called to me?
I chose to answer the calls and follow the push along paths
my parents never predicted,
and couldn’t understand,
But once I spread my wings, there was no stopping me.
Did I choose not to have children? In a way, yes.
Among the calls and pushes there were
preferences, positions, and prizes
I didn’t win, forked paths with branches
I might not have chosen—but somehow did.
With so much abundance, I have no regrets.
My memories are well-populated, and—spring
and summer gone and autumn soon to follow—
I find I am looking forward to winter’s call.
For Mary's prompt "Choices" at What's Going On?
"forked paths with branches
ReplyDeleteI might not have chosen—but somehow did." -- And somehow one ends up right in the place one is meant to be, it seems. That is what I feel anywa. And if one had made other choices, one would not have experienced all that one remembers so fondly now. I like to think that all of my circuitous choices (and well populated memories- your term) led me HERE, and that is a good thing! A thoughtful reflective poem, Susan.
I love the sense of self-actualisation this conveys - that we are at the helm in some ways - Jae
ReplyDeleteI remember writing a haibun long ago in which, to the question of what I would be doing in a parallel universe, my answer was that I would be writing the same poem! Somehow we make choices, they shape our lives and here we are with our poems...and perhaps that much at least was exactly the way it was supposed to be. I think I have a regret or two, some residual anger maybe...but they peacefully co-exist inside my head... I love your poem and it surely made me think!!
ReplyDeleteI love "Once I spread my wings there was no stopping me"......the dizzying and breathtaking flight. I am smiling in agreement at Rajani's comment - that she would be writing the same poem in a parallel universe. A beautiful poem, my friend.
ReplyDeleteThis is the process of living a valued life. It doesn't matter whether life chose me or I chose it. A life that sees so much abundance and no regrets. Beautiful. "But once I spread my wings, there was no stopping me." How I love the power and the sense of independence the line exudes. A lovely poem, Susan.
ReplyDeleteI love the opening lines, Susan, the night glowing ‘with moving clouds and hundreds of distant lights’.
ReplyDeleteAn independent life rich in experience without regret, beautifully expressed.....Rall
ReplyDeleteSusan,
ReplyDeleteA poem showing the abundance of contentment in your life with the choices you have made along the way.
Enriched with many experiences and a sense of not seeking to have changed your life's pathway.
No regrets, is surely a life fulfilled:)
How much of my life did I choose? I think we have been making choices since we were very young. We still make them everyday. Should I get up now? Sleep in a bit? Have coffee or tea? All day we are making choices it seems.
ReplyDeleteI love these lines:
I didn’t win, forked paths with branches
I might not have chosen—but somehow did.