04 September 2023

Take this Poem

 

First of all, believe me when I say that there is no improving on the model poem for Mary's prompt: Take This Poem by Elizabeth Willis.  It’s brilliant.  Go on and read it.  I’m trying to create something else with a similar rhythm of urgency and hope.

 

 Take this Poem
 
This poem is
a red and blue
pill you take
to reveal or disguise
the matrix.
Take it alone or
In company.
Conformity becomes
group experience
either way.
 
Do you hesitate?
Sit there
without deciding?
At least watch
people choose
a pen or ax
a hammer or cudgel
a plow or weapon.
Watch who walks
toward danger
and who is danger.
 
See who simplifies
Into love and hate
and who embraces
the complexity
of growing up
of trial and error
of standing up after
being flattened
by oppression.
See who listens.
 
And then, instead
of pills, take courage
to walk your fear
out of its
hundreds
of closets
and stand up
for voting
for dis-arming
for nourishing
the malnourished
earth and its
populations.
Stand up for freedom
And equality.
 
Go outside naked
free of mask
and prejudice
free of tears
free of need to
divide into binaries.
Go outside naked
this poem in hand
and share it
to develop a better
one for place and time.
 
One that will explode
systems that limit
human possibilities
systems that destroy
environmental futures
systems that create
us and them
and he and she
and rich and poor
and users and used.
 
Create instead
like nature
from seed
to fruit
like the gods
from nothing
to something
with growth
and change
built in
like a life force
like a wind
like a sun
like a cloud
like a bird
who wants
to do its part
in the survival
of the world.


For Mary's prompt TAKE THIS POEM on the Blog "What's Going On?"



My blog poems are rough drafts.
Please respect my copyright.

© 2023 Susan L. Chast


 

12 comments:

  1. Susan - I love the way you took the shape of Elizabeth Willis' poem and made it your own. In your rich writing you explored so many topics, issues, themes. All of them today's! It is hard for me to find favorite lines, but if pressed I would choose these:

    "Go outside naked
    free of mask
    and prejudice
    free of tears
    free of need to
    divide into binaries.
    Go outside naked
    this poem in hand
    and share it
    to develop a better
    one for place and time."

    But it was really hard to choose! And then after so many examples, the last stanza gives some wise advice!

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  2. "Watch who walks
    toward danger
    and who is danger." The lines gave me goosebumps. Had everyone been such watchful the world would have been a much better place to live in. I could see them "who embraces / the complexity / of growing up / of trial and error / of standing up after / being flattened / by oppression." May such souls come and the world be full of them. Hope is the soul of the poem. Absolutely brilliant!

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  3. Oh my goodness! This poem is SUPERB, and makes me want to take to the streets marching for so many things the world needs now. I wish all of North America could read this poem. A call to join arms and make change we have never needed more. A fantastic poem, Susan. I hope you submit it somewhere where many can read it - do newspapers publish poems any more? Maybe as a letter to the editor?

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  4. Go outside naked, this poem in hand and share it.... OK..I might need a red and blue pill to do that(.Smirk).....Passionate writing....enjoyed your poem

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  5. Susan,
    This topic for writing, presented an opportunity to almost list the things in life that motivate you and are important. A message very clearly set out for the good and encouragement of those who may be slow to think of others, or the world around them..certainly, a need to see and know the obvious dangers...

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  6. I love the way you took Elizabeth Willis’s poem and went for it! You definitely captured the rhythm of urgency and hope. I especially like:
    ‘At least watch
    people choose
    a pen or ax
    a hammer or cudgel
    a plow or weapon’
    and
    ‘Go outside naked
    this poem in hand
    and share it
    to develop a better
    one for place and time.’
    I also like the list in the final stanza.

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  7. Thoughtful poem. The proof is in the putting, but things are not always what they seem. It's difficult for me to sift through it all, but I try to do no harm.

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  8. There is a lot being said here and it takes courage to say it...always be aware of danger seen and unseen. Words of wisdom for sure - Truedessa

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  9. Jane Dougherty9/21/2023 10:00 AM

    I like your enthusiasm and I'd agree with your aims. I also agree with you that reducing every emotion to either love or hate is simplistic. The word 'love' is often overused, and 'hate' is often misused.

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  10. The example poem is indeed excellent, but i think you've done very well with the format here yourself, especially those first three outstanding stanzas.

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  11. The "People chose a pen or ax" stanza is so cool - we all approach things in different ways, interpret same things differently... Enjoyed this!

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  12. Mary as others have previously said, this is absolutely superb... I think it might even be an improvement on the model.... take courage
    to walk your fear
    out of its
    hundreds
    of closets
    and stand up
    You have accomplished your goal of urgency and stunning beauty.. a clarion call... Bravo! Sorry .. this is posting as anonymous... Pearl here!

    ReplyDelete

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